The 'third date syndrome' in Jewish dating is troublesome to many people who will have one or two dates with a person and yet never get past that second date in order to deepen the relationship with an eye to getting married in the future. It can be frustrating and disappointing and if it happens more than one, it may be a cause for concern by the person who is uncertain whether it is just bad luck, the hand of God or whether it is a personality flaw that needs to be corrected. Jewish dating is a fairly structured process and both parties typically make some decisions fairly early in the process about whether they want to continue the relationship. 

For the person who finds themself a victim of 'third date syndrome' there are some tips which may help you resolve the question of why it is happening.

• Sometimes the person who is worried about dead end Jewish dating should accept fewer dates.  If you can look at or ask information that would be standard first date questions and determine from the answers that the person would not be a potential marriage partner, why go out with them at all?

• You may be expecting too much too soon.  The first Jewish dating meet is often little more than exchanging pleasantries.  Unless you've done a thorough paper investigation of each other first, you may just be covering basic biographical data and major life goals.  If you are trying to jump ahead in the relationship to determine whether or not this is "the one", you are putting a strain on the easy flow of getting to know one another.  You are far better to decide "What will happen, will happen" and in the meantime enjoy getting to know the other person.

• Even though two individuals may appear to be a good match on paper, when they meet face-to-face it is apparent very quickly that their personalities just don't mesh.  Maybe one offends the other with something that is said or is misinterpreted. Perhaps something about the physical appearance or mannerisms is a sore point with the other party. It is better not to waste time in further dates if this is the case, since it will only use time that could better be spent finding the person who doesn't clash.

• Since so much of the Jewish dating system depends on getting to know the other individual well, the two people involved must be on somewhat equal footing in their conversation skills.  They must be able to communicate on a significant level in order to determine if they are suited.

• It is also unwise to push the anxiety level of the other party by going beyond the traditional expectations for what is suitable at the first date, second date and so on.

• One other factor which may play a part in preventing third dates is that of ambivalence toward the whole process of dating.  One or both of the individuals may not even beaware of their uncertainty about whether or not they really want to be taking the steps of dating and marriage.