Jewish dating commonly follows a fairly set pattern.  The first one or two dates are usually focused on finding out more about each other in face-to-face mode.  Jewish dating may begin with a on paper study of the other person to determine if there is enough similarity of interests, background, education and goals to warrant a face to face meeting. If the two individuals are still interested in meeting each other and getting to know one another better, usually a first date will be arranged.  The Jewish dating system provides for such a date to be rather understated.  Not a lot of publicity is provided to avoid unrealistic expectations and hurts if things don't go any further. 

For the sake of protection, and comfort the first date may be in the company of friends or someone who will introduce the two and smooth the meeting.

The second date is often scheduled even if there is not an immediate agreement by one or both parties that the relationship should be explored a little more. 

Sometimes during the second date, the two individuals who appeared to be a good match on paper will see potential problems with the other person.  It may be something about the appearance that is totally uncomfortable to the other person.  It may be a particular mannerism that is quite annoying.  Quite often one individual feels like they must completely carry the conversation which can be mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausting.  Before you know another person well, it is often easy to inadvertently insult or offend the other person.  During the early dates most people in the Jewish dating system will begin to get a sense that they are not compatible.  However, it may take more time to determine that they ARE compatible.

Under the Jewish dating system, even two people who had just a marginal time on the first date or second date may go ahead and schedule a third date in order not to be premature about ruling out the other party.

It is believed that it takes at least this long before the two individuals start to be comfortable enough with each other that they will relax and let their true personalities come out.  Both parties make every effort to be totally objective about their agreement to continue in the Jewish dating relationship.  They may decide that their are some personality traits in the other party that are of concern, but they are not so overwhelming as to cause the dating to discontinue.  The personality issues may be so much in the forefront that it is decided not to pursue this particular relationship.  Or, the two of them may decide that perhaps the trait in question is not so annoying after all. 

Which ever way the path takes for them, there is concern for the feelings of the other person so that undue pain and humiliation is kept out of the equation. The discussions and conversations enjoyed by each party are based on adult perceptions, experiences, and expectations.