A real danger in the Jewish dating system  especially during the first two or three dates, is that people sometimes get too caught up in the idea that this may be the person whom they will marry and this sets up unrealistic expectations. 

Under Jewish dating tradition, the two individuals meet after it is determined that each feels as if they are ready to marry and they are ready to find the person who they will be married to. Often, the families of the two will be acquainted and the introductions are made through the families.  Other times, mutual friends will decide to play matchmaker and perform the introductions. The two individuals often will check each other out on paper to decide if they actually want to meet in person.  Just by looking at the vitae, it may be wiser to rule out another person.  For example if one person wants to complete a university degree and the other wants no part of any further education, it may be pointless to even meed for a first date.

The Jewish dating system allows plenty of time to get to know the characteristics of the person, but if one or both individuals are focused on thinking about the other framed in this may be my future spouse, they may not take the time to learn to know the person to see whether the personality is one which would be compatible over time.  In other words, it more or less a way of short circuiting the Jewish dating system by placing too much emphasis on what may happen.  Both parties ideally will proceed with the process of getting to know the other in the present.

It is an error to go on a first date expecting to know immediately if the other person is right for them.  Even with two people who have known each other previously, or are acquainted through family or friends, it commonly will take sometimes as many as three or four dates for the two individuals to be certain that they are starting to relate to each other, perhaps even beginning to like each other and also that there is a level of physical attraction which is present.  The Jewish dating system first date is only an opportunity to reduce some of the shyness.

Getting accustomed to the mannerisms, speech patterns, personality, even the way he or she dresses as a reflection of their style, can all take time. During the early stages of Jewish dating at least, it is better to focus on those factors rather than living in imagination of what it would be like to be married to the other person.

At the same time, learning about the other person is not allowed to continue too long, Both parties usually come to a conclusion about the aptness of a union within about three to four months of seeing each other. The point being that if marriage is not right between these two individuals, each will want to move on and find another person.